He's made it clear many times that he doesn't want to change his relationship with alcohol at all - in fact, the last time I confronted him and said I couldn't take it, his response, after thinking about it, was "well, I think we're on a good run." So... the intelligent part of my brain knows it's time to run. But it will take a lot of fortitude and work to save up enough money to leave - I either need to find a second job or quit my current job for a new one. There is no other way, and I am ashamed to talk about this with anyone in my life - it seems that they all probably knew that nothing would come of it, since we got married so quickly. I'm going filed for divorce https://onlinedivorcer.com/online-divorce-missouri